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Archive for the ‘Year 2001’ Category

Historic sites near NTU

Some of us may remember that Singapore was an important military base in the Far (so-called) East for the British government. Consequently, it was a greatly desired prize for the Japanese in World War 2. The British had expected the Japanese forces to attack by sea and much of the military hardware was concentrated in the southern part of Singapore(Labrador, Sentosa, etc). As Peninsular Malaysia was conquered earlier, another possible route of attack would be by way of the Causeway at Woodlands.

However, the Japanese infantry shrewdly attacked by crossing the Straits of Johore and landing at Kranji and Sarimbun. To fight the Japanese coming in from these 2 points, the British put up the Kranji-Jurong Defence Line. These 3 places (Sarimbun, Kranji and K-J Defence Line) have been designated as historic sites and you can see the NHB (National Heritage Board) signs there. The nearest historic site, close to Jurong Junior College, is at Jurong West Street 42.

The next-nearest historic site is at Sarimbun Beach just before the Ministry of Education’s campsite. You can get a good view of the Straits of Johore from this site. To reach the place, go along Lim Chu Kang Road and turn into Jalan Bahtera.

Incidentally, next to the MOE campsites are those belonging to the Singapore Scout Association and the Singapore Girl Guide Association. The Girl Guide campsite is known as Camp Christine.

Re-trievia quiz: Who is Christine?

Re-trievia recalled: Excerpts from Year 2001
Tan Wee Kiat

Written by Ivan Chew

2 November, 2007 at 10:51 pm

Posted in Year 2001

Only for the Dirty-minded

Talking about DOM and dirty minds, here is a story about a special booth at a church charity fun-fair.

While all the other stalls featured foods (all manner of manna?) and non-betting games, this particular booth was all walled up with posters of girls in swim wear. Only a key hole was provided to see what was inside. The booth had a bold sign that said, “Only for the Dirty-minded! One Dollar $1 a peep!“

When a person paid $1 and had a peep through the keyhole, this was what he saw: soaps, shampoos, bath towels, face towels, tissue packets, toilet rolls, litter bins, brooms, mops, vacuum cleaners, etc. All stuff for clearing up dirt!

Well, what did you expect? I did say it was a church funfair affair, didn’t I?

Re-trievia recalled: Excerpts from Year 2001
Tan Wee Kiat

Written by Ivan Chew

1 November, 2007 at 10:48 pm

Posted in Year 2001

A Coy Hotel

Have you heard of a ‘Coy Hotel’ here near NTU?

You haven’t?

Like you I wondered whether it was some unofficial version of a hotel, in the way that ‘private tuition’ is unofficial. The ‘coy hotel’ incident came about when I visited a fish farm at the Agro-Technology Park in Sungei Tengah, a 10-minute drive from NTU.

When the fish farm manager said he operated a coy hotel I thought to myself, “Is this man doing some fishy business besides his legitimate fish business? Anyway, what on earth is a coy hotel?”

When we walked to the ‘coy hotel’ section of the farm and I saw many koi fish happily swimming around, I then realised that ‘coy hotel’ meant koi hotel. [If you are leaving Singapore for some time, you can have your koi accommodated in this place –Nippon Koi Hotel.]

This ‘coy hotel’ confusion shows I have an imaginative mind, I think. Of course, the more puritanical among my friends may say it shows I have a ‘imaginative, but dirty‘ mind.

And, if any of my puritanical friends call me a DOM (Dirty Old Man) I would have to say that statement is a half-truth. Anyone can see I am not old.

Re-trievia recalled: Excerpts from Year 2001
Tan Wee Kiat

Written by Ivan Chew

31 October, 2007 at 10:45 pm

Posted in Year 2001

Money – a note about it

Now what was I going to say about money? Notes come in $1, $2,$5, $10, etc. but have you ever seen a three-dollar note. Bet you haven’t.

In fact, you are probably going to bet a cup of coffee that there is no such thing!

Well, there isa three-dollar note. It comes from Cook Islands. I will show it to you when I come and drink your coffee.
Cook Island bill

Why would anyone want a three-dollar note?

I don’t know why. Perhaps it is to make people say, “Incredible, isn’t it?“instead of, “Crazy, isn’t it?”
Re-trievia recalled: Excerpts from Year 2001
Tan Wee Kiat

Written by Ivan Chew

30 October, 2007 at 10:41 pm

Posted in Year 2001

Carnivorous plants -The Venus Flytrap

One of my interests is carnivorous plants. I am frequently asked, “Are there carnivorous plants in Singapore?” The answer is Yes -Pitcher plants (Nepenthes)** and Bladderworts (Utricularia).

The carnivorous plant that most people have heard of – the Venus Flytrap (VFT) -is, however, not a native Singapore plant. It is, in fact, a native of South-eastern USA.

One can buy the plant from local flower nurseries between $5-$10 for a potted plant. Although the VFT is so famous, for a long time only Laos had issued a stamp of it. A few weeks ago the USA issued a stamp of its VFT.

Incidentally, the common name Venus Flytrap (VFT) is usually regarded as a translation from its scientific name, Dionaeamuscipula. It seems this translation may not be correct. Some language experts have hypothesised that Dionaea should be linked to Diana, the goddess of hunting, rather than to Venus, the goddess of love.

More interesting, though, is that muscipulashould be translated as mouse-trap rather than fly-trap as ‘mus-‘ is the Latin word for mouse. So the plant that is known world-wide as Venus Flytrap should be called Diana Mousetrap! In which case, its initials will
change from VFT to DMT.
Frog and Pitcher Plant stamp

Re-trievia recalled: Excerpts from Year 2001
Tan Wee Kiat

Written by Ivan Chew

29 October, 2007 at 10:37 pm

Posted in Year 2001

A True Musician

On one occasion at a gathering I was playing “Beautiful Dreamer” on my simple pocket-harmonica. I remember Mr Chia Wai Hon saying, “That’s good. I didn’t know you were a musician”. I told him I could only play the harmonica by ear and therefore I was not a true musician.

So, what is a ‘true musician’?

Here it is: A true musician is one who, when he hears a lady singing in the bathroom, creeps quietly up to the door, feels for the keyhole and then puts his EAR to the keyhole.

Got that? Put the ear, not eye,to the keyhole.

I wonder how many of our Music Department colleagues can pass this test? I don’t think I can, even though I play the harmonica by ear.

Talking about bathroom singers reminds me of another story about another lady singing in the bathroom. Oops! I better stop here; I can sense the disapproving looks of my hard-working colleagues**.

Anyway, if you are not so puritanical and still want to hear the story about this other lady who sings in the bathroom, treating me to a cup of coffee will loosen my tongue.

** About hard-working colleagues, once one such person wanted to be kind to me and introduced me to NIE visitors as, “This is my hardly-working colleague, Dr Tan Wee Kiat…”. Well, as the saying goes, “With friends like you I can’t afford any enemies”.

God bless you and may you keep singing in the bathroom!

Re-trievia recalled: Excerpts from Year 2001
Tan Wee Kiat

Written by Ivan Chew

28 October, 2007 at 10:35 pm

Posted in Year 2001

NTU Staff Digest newsletter

The last 2 issues of NTU Staff Digest had NIE colleagues on the front page. The August 2001 issue featured Dr Lee Sing Kong and aeroponics vegetables. This September 2001 issue highlighted Dr Diong Cheong Hoong and baby turtles. Cute, aren’t they? [I am referring to the turtles.]

The September issue also had 3 pictures in the article, “The Perfect Partnership” about couples working in NTU. The 3 couples mentioned did not include our NIE people and you may think we do not have any of such partnerships in NIE. In fact, we have several:
Goh Chor Boon and Leong Lai Kuen
Gan Leong Huat and Yap YikY uen
Leslie Sharp and Pamela Sharpe
Kevin Blackburn and Tan Swee Ngin
Tan Tai Wei and Chew Lee Chin
John Wang and Liu Woon Chia

Incidentally, do not read anything extra into the fact that I mention the husband’s name first, before the wife’s name. It could just as well be the other way round. I, too, strongly believe in equal treatment of the sexes.

You know that old story about the man who said, “Of course, I strongly believe in equality of the sexes. I just wish that my wife would treat me as her equal”.

Poor man! He is probably the one who, when filling the part of the personal particulars form that asked about “Marital Status”,wrote down, “Henpecked!”.

Re-trievia recalled: Excerpts from Year 2001
Tan Wee Kiat

Written by Ivan Chew

27 October, 2007 at 10:33 pm

Posted in Year 2001

When someone calls you, “Sir“

One lunch time, after I had finished eating at the Food Centre in Street 52, Jurong West, I decided to work off some calories with a bit of window-shopping.

I had hardly walked past the first shop when a neatly-dressed Indian man with a young boy called out to me, “Hello! Sir! How are you?”

Of course, if someone asks how you are, the reply is: “I am fine. Thank you. And how are you?”

[Self-thought: If he calls me ‘Sir’ he must be one of my old students.]

Indian man: I am okay, Sir. How come you are eating here in Jurong?

Yours truly: Oh. Our NIE has moved here to JurongNTU Campus.

Indian man: No more at Bukit Timah?

Yours truly: No more. By the way which year were you at Bukit Timah?

Indian man: I was there for 6 years, Sir.

[Self-thought: Strange! 6 years in NIE? Our BA/BSc programme doesn’t take that long. Poor fellow must have repeated two years of his studies.]

Yours truly: You were in NIE for 6 years?

Indian man: Yes Sir, 6 years. Ah! I see you forget, Sir. I was selling Roti Prata there in the canteen.

Yours truly: Yes, yes. [Trying to be diplomatic.] I remember your Roti Prata was very good. And is this young boy, your son?

Indian man: Not my son, Sir. My grandson!

Yours truly: Your grandson! You are a grandfather? How time flies.

Yes, time flies and we grow old. How nice to be remembered and recognised.

Re-trievia recalled: Excerpts from Year 2001
Tan Wee Kiat

Written by Ivan Chew

26 October, 2007 at 10:32 pm

Posted in Year 2001

Lion Dance, Dragon Dance and Line Dance

Well, about a month back I met my youngest sister and her husband at a function. I had not met them for some months and my sister and her husband were noticeably slimmer. Teasing her, I asked, “And what diet are you on?”

Her reply was, “No diet but we do regular exercise”.

Me: Regular exercise! That’s good. And what do you do?

Youngest sis: Dancing. We join a Lion Dance group and dance twice weekly.

Me: Lion Dance! Wow! Isn’t that a bit too demanding?

Youngest sis: Not really! We only participate in the less vigorous kind of Lion Dance steps.

Me: Oh! I didn’t know that there is a less vigorous form. I guess you are the ‘Lion Tail’ and your husband is the ‘Lion Head‘.

Youngest sis: Head? Tail? Our Lion Dance doesn’t really have a Head or a Tail. We all stand in a line.

Me: Oh! A line of dancers! Then it is not ‘Lion Dance’ but ‘Chinese Dragon’ Dance!

Youngest sis: Chinese Dragon Dance! No, it is American Lion Dance.

Me: Amercian Lion Dance? Oh, I see [Eureka!]. It is American Line Dance you are talking about! Okay! Okay! So my hearing is not as good as it used to be. Apologies!

Re-trievia recalled: Excerpts from Year 2001
Tan Wee Kiat

Written by Ivan Chew

25 October, 2007 at 10:30 pm

Posted in Year 2001

A ‘Green Fingers’ story

A Singaporean couple moved to England. The wife was a keen gardener. At the first opportunity she went to a flower nursery and bought a beautiful bushy potted plant for the balcony. She dutifully watered the plant and added diluted fertilizer weekly as recommended. As a result the plant thrived.

After a few months in England she decided to take a 2-week holiday in Europe and so she left the care of her precious plant to her husband with strict instructions for its well-being. When she came back from her holiday, the leaves of the plant began to turn yellow. As expected she suspected her husband had not taken good care of the plant. Anyway she hoped, with her return and her loving tender care, the plant would recover.

However, the leaves went on from yellow to brown and dropped off. Thinking that the marital relationship was more important than the health of her precious plant, she decided not to confront her husband. So, she called the owner of the flower nursery to make a ‘house call’ to examine the plant.

One look at the plant and the nursery owner knew the reason for the leaves turning brown and dropping off.

Nursery owner: I know the problem. However, there is no cure.
Plant owner: No cure? And what is the problem?
Nursery owner: The problem, dear lady, is called “Autumn”.

Re-trievia recalled: Excerpts from Year 2001
Tan Wee Kiat

Written by Ivan Chew

24 October, 2007 at 10:28 pm

Posted in Year 2001